'Tis the season... for shitty holiday rom coms

Trae Dorn

Tonight's movie is A Perfect Christmas Pairing, where the bad guys can be stopped by just saying no to them, and the male love interest thinks flying to Iraq to write a travel book is a good idea.

I swear this movie was written by AI and I love it.

Trae Dorn

LOOK AT THESE BLAND ASS WHITE PEOPLE. LOOK AT THEM.

Kimberlee

Trae Dorn

everything in this scene is white. the lights. the piano. her coat. the tree. the chair.

why is everything so ...bland?

Kimberlee

this looks truly terrible

Trae Dorn

Kimberlee this looks truly terrible

Oh, it is.

I loved it.

Trae Dorn

Kimberlee BECAUSE SHE HAS TO SAVE THE FAMILY VINEYARD THAT WAS ACTUALLY DOING FINE BUT SOME RICH PERSON WANTED TO BUY IT BUT SHE SAID NO BECAUSE THE RICH PEOPLE WEREN'T ACTUALLY THREATENING THEM OR ANYTHING THEY WERE JUST ANNOYING, SO THE RICH PEOPLE ARE LIKE "OKAY I GUESS WE'LL GO BUY SOMETHING ELSE" AND THE CONFLICT WAS RESOLVED BECAUSE THIS IS THE DUMBEST, BLANDEST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN.

ALSO SHE'S A CHEF, AND HE'S A TRAVEL WRITER WHO THINKS FLYING TO IRAQ SO HE CAN WRITE ABOUT BEING A TOURIST THERE IS A GOOD IDEA.

AND IT'S NOT EVEN THE BLANDEST ONE I'LL WATCH THIS HOLIDAY SEASON.

Kimberlee

lol omg.

wait wait let me guess, did she make a celebratory Christmas dinner for saving the vineyard? and serve it to her travel writer love when he returned?

Trae Dorn

Kimberlee The Travel writer wrote an expose about the rich person, someone exposing something.

Except all of his sources were already published articles.

And, I cannot emphasize this enough -- whoever wrote this film must not know that the Hanging Gardens of Babylon were in Iraq. Because he said he's going to go hike them? Also he was going to "hike" something that we don't know the exact location of because they might not have really existed.

But if they did, they were in Iraq.

And, y'know, it's IRAQ.

Trae Dorn

For this week's Rom Com we're going back to 2013 for "Window Wonderland" starring a pre-Taxi Brooklyn Chyler Leigh

Trae Dorn

The thing about 2013 Christmas rom coms is they deviate from the formula more. We're spending this whole movie in the city.

But oh my god, the fashion is so 2013. Just look at Chyler Leigh's hair

Trae Dorn

Still bland ass white people though, even if I really like the show one of them would go be on in like three years.

Trae Dorn

SECOND MOVIE TONIGHT

The Secret Gifts of Christmas (2023)

The colors are brighter, but the actors are worse and the characters so much blander compared to Window Wonderland

Trae Dorn

FEEL THE BLAND OF MR. BLANDERSON

FEEL IT

Tyler

I recommend Surviving Christmas to anyone who hasn't seen it. It's from 2004 and stars Ben Affleck in a leading comedy role, which probably tells you everything you need. Watching Ben Affleck desperately trying to be a goofball is truly a Christmas miracle.

Trae Dorn

Tyler Nah, not shitty enough. 😆

Trae Dorn

Last weekend for Christmas romcoms, and tonight we're doing "Catch Me if You Claus"

It is... surprisingly funny. But they also cast Killjoy's Luke Macfarlane as Santa Claus/Santa Claus's son?

I didn't expect to genuinely, unironically like this.

Trae Dorn

So the thing is "Catch me if you Claus" doesn't really fit the formula of a normal Christmas RomCom (even though it's made by Hallmark)... and is just kind of good?

This is actually just kinda good. Wild.

Trae Dorn

Okay. That accidentally turned out to be a cute, fun movie.

I need trash now.

Time for "Checkin' It Twice"

Yes. These folks look sufficiently bland.

electricbudgie

Okay but like, did you catch Round and Round? That was the one that surprised me this year. My mom plays Hallmark movies as background since they aren't at all stressful to watch, which I get, but then Round and Round came on and I had a similar experience of "... I think I like this and it's kind of good??"
It was based around Hanukkah instead of Christmas, and combined it with a Groundhog-day-ish plot. It was fun!

Trae Dorn

electricbudgie Oooh, I didn't catch that one. I'll have to dig it up on Peacock.